Exploring gender identity and sexuality in role playing games
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I would love to hear stories about this, if anyone else is comfortable with sharing.
One of the many things I have appreciated about TTRPGs has been the ability to explore my gender identity and sexuality in a way that's fun and makes me feel safe. Selfishly, when I play these games, part of my goal is to explore different things about myself through all the play sessions. It doesn't necessarily have to be something I'm struggling with, I just really like being able to feel a certain connection with whatever character I'm playing. This connection does tend to be associated with my sexuality and gender identity, though. Sometimes these characteristics, such as sexuality, even develop for them over time rather than being something I define right at the beginning. Which I think can be pretty nice, because it took me a while to figure it out, too.
LiveTale Unity Developer
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Excellent subject, and one that I've put a lot of thought to recently. I 100% agree that TTRPGs (and, in my case, MMORPGs as well) feel like a safe way to explore my identity. It's an unfortunate reality that the world isn't always a welcoming place for LGBTQ+ people, but in a world created by me and my friends, I'm comfortable being myself. I can also experiment - I'm only very recently feeling comfortable acknowledging that I'm nonbinary, but for a long time I was creating and playing androgynous (or otherwise gender non-conforming) characters in MMORPGs. It made me happy while also helping me better understand who I am.
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I can definitely attest to doing this in both TTRPGs and MMOs. Honestly, it originally started as me getting fed up with dating men who just sucked at wooing. I was convinced that I would be better off as a man because I knew how to treat a lady, how to have respect, and how to just say all the right things lol. But in later years it helped me define more of who I am. Like I am annoyingly demi now and I need to maintain that status with someone in order to keep romantic interest.
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Not having much experience role-playing, I haven't been able to use it as much as a tool per se.
However, I have caught myself when thinking of cool characters I'd want to play, that I subconsciously maybe give them diverse personalities, backstories or physical characteristics, but they always match my gender identity and sexual orientation. So it had to be a conscious effort, but my last couple of characters were all different to me in either gender or sexuality; and that separation has led for me to at least have it be easier to role-play, but also maybe it's serving as self-exploration in the background.
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This really resonates with me. I used DnD as a beta test to experiment with my sexuality. I initially began playing female characters and then moved on to male characters. Being female, but using a male character to interact with even female characters and npcs felt safe, empowering. I didn't realize at the time I was exploring my bisexuality. Now I use DnD as a fun tool for helping my children explore their personality and identities. They can be anything they want to be and it's one of the only games they request to play over and over again.
