Would You Rather...?

SwampCreature

Would you rather have your hands replaced with swords or or breath gouts of flames every time you burped?

Ooooh. As appealing as the swords are (I’m a knife guy, personally), I would eventually miss the dexterity of hands. Also it would make it hard to type. I’m gonna go with the fireburps, because it’d probably look cool and potentially come in handy for ~~insurance fraud~~ survival situations.

If a wizard were really mad at you and cursed you as punishment, would you rather be transformed into a flightless bird or a really ugly fish? Bonus points if you tell me why the wizard is mad at you.

Alexander Salkin

@SwampCreature said in

If a wizard were really mad at you and cursed you as punishment, would you rather be transformed into a flightless bird or a really ugly fish? Bonus points if you tell me why the wizard is mad at you.

Flightless bird. While I wouldn't want to be a penguin, everyone loves a kiwi and I wouldn't be against becoming an ostrich or cassowary. As for the wizard, I probably stole his last slice of pie. In my last moments as a human before meeting his annoyed gaze, he'd probably ask me if I thought it was magically delicious.

Would you rather become a supervillain whose entire obsession was centered around the use of coleslaw as both a weapon and crime theme or a gritty film noir detective in a big city filled with high rises whose lower legs were permanently replaced by a single pogo stick?

merlin

@SwampCreature

If a wizard were really mad at you and cursed you as punishment, would you rather be transformed into a flightless bird or a really ugly fish? Bonus points if you tell me why the wizard is mad at you.

Honesty I have yet to meet an attractive fish. Like if we’re honest with ourselves have any of looked a fish with its dead pan eyes, gasping Gils and slimy scales and been like, god damn that fish is the definition of beauty?

The wizard would probably get mad at me charging into his wizard tower, breaking all of his wizard traps and wards to ask him this question. At which point I would be turned to a fish where I would spend my life searching for an attractive fish. The whole time I would keep tabs on the wizard, giving him random updates my thoughts of fish beauty standards.

@Alexander-Salkin

Pogo noir detective. It was a cold night in December when she came to my door. A strand of broken pearls hung from her neck and fresh blood stained the sequins of her dress.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who could use a drink” I said, bouncing out of my desk chair like the world most serious jack in the box, “you still take your martini dirty, Lucille?”

“Always, darling. Oh wait, no you don’t have to make-oh lord John you’re spilling everywhere. No, seriously we can go to the bar down the street. No.no. I dont want- you dropped the olives. There’s olives everywhere. Yeah, I’m-I’m just going to go. Yeah, no it’s cool. I killed my husband. I was going to lead you down a trail of bread crumbs snd then shoot you in an alley. Uh huh. Yeah, I’ll turn myself in. I don’t know why I came- oh jeez. Yeah, I’ll call the cleaning lady, I’ll tell her it happened again. Bye John. Ok yeah, bye.

K.O.

I'm going to ask a new Would You Rather to set this off again unless you want to take the reins @merlin? If so, ignore mine.

Would you rather live in the Star Wars or the Star Trek universe? Bonus points if you tell me why.

merlin

@K-O

No I want to play. I’d choose Star Wars universe because I love cantina music and space wizards. Plus I dont think I would live past my red shirt phase!

Question:

Would you rather live in the Harry Potter universe or the Dresden files universe?

mianngu

@merlin

So I looked up the Dresden files, which I'm totally gonna grab from the library, but I still have to go with the nostalgia of Harry Potter. I'm so terribly disappointed in JK Rowling and I wish it wasn't so hard to let go of everything I loved about Harry Potter growing up. All I want to do is go to Hogwarts, where's that damn letter.

Would you rather live in a world that was at constant war with the aquatic people that dwell within the oceans or a world with sentient vegetation inhabited by technologically advanced tribes?

merlin

@mianngu

When I was a child growing up in Hawaii, I got bit by a tiny pig fish. Ever since that day I have plotted my revenge. Cancel the rescue party, no one is finding Nemo today. Prepare for sea world war 3.

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Would you rather make a deal with an obviously evil djinn or a talking yorkie who may not have magical powers but promises he will do his very best. Bonus if you tell me your wish

mianngu

@merlin

But pig fish are so cute!

Would you rather make a deal with an obviously evil djinn or a talking yorkie who may not have magical powers but promises he will do his very best. Bonus if you tell me your wish!

I want the Yorkie. He would be the bestest boi and even if it didn't come true, he would still be loved forever.

I would wish for a best friend for my daughter. She is only 9, but she hasn't met her person yet. That one person who gets you through thick and thin, who doesn't need to see you all the time, but when they do it's like no time has passed. The one who cries with you and laughs and is your everything. She needs that friend and I would ask for a good one. I hope bestest boi delivers, but maybe he can help anyway.

Would you rather be a stablehand in a castle devoted to training the last remaining rideable dragons or a dryad of the forgotten forest protecting your grove from the ever-encroaching desert?

Tell me why!

Alexander Salkin

@mianngu I'd go with the dryad. It sounds like a beautiful if tragic existence. I think there's something hauntingly enchanting about fighting back against what seems like futility and being a nature spirit in the process sounds amazing.

You have a curse that acts up randomly for a continuous 24 hours every week! Would you choose to be uncontrollably addicted to consuming any form of soap, despite the taste, or to only hear everyone else around doing convincing Gilbert Gottfried comedy routines, despite whatever they're actually saying to you?

Ezra

Weirdly enough I think I would go with Gilbert Gottfried comedy routines. This might come from my ability to always find humor despite the circumstances lol.

Would you rather always be too hot, causing paper to combust, plastic to begin melting, and metal to heat, or always be damp, causing paper to get soggy and tear, fabric to be moist if not water logged, and every other surface to be slick?

Mariano

@Ezra Definitely always be damp. I'm not about to start forest fires just by existing. Also, there's types of clothing that would make living/using technology possible.

There's something to be said about the scientific implications of each: do I need to eat enough calories for my body to generate that level of heat and otherwise I'll die? Otherwise, it's creating energy out of nowhere and I might help with some sort of science breakthrough. Same with hydration/generation of that dampness. If it means creating matter without a particle accelerator, then that's awesome.

If I do have to balance it out with eating/drinking, the eating sounds more fun, but drinking sounds like it would be less time-consuming considering how damp I'd be vs how much heat I'd be generating.

Would you rather have to turn into a domestic animal of your choice or wild animal of your choice? (Also what would your choice be?)

ae.writer85

@Mariano Wild animal of Mt choice and wolves, because I'm fascinated by their social structure.

Would you rather be Jiminy Cricket or the Fairy Godmother?

merlin

@ae-writer85

Fairy god mother all day! I’d rather deal with a clumsy shoe losing princess than a wooden puppet with an identity crisis.

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Would you have the ability vomit spiders at your enemies or the ability to call forth a swarm of biting flies to engulf your person and act as a protective cloud

Sachi

@merlin
The vomiting spiders sound weird and creepy, essentially are they crawling up your throat or just appearing in your mouth?
To where it's cool, but would try not to vomit..vomiting... may be added challenge when tempted and feel living spiders in your mouth trying to escape.
For a swarm of biting flies would be interesting to summon, but would you just be summoning them to eat yourself? Especially if they are biting flies surrounding you.
I dislike crawly things, but morbid curiosity makes me choose the spider vomit, hopefully it's useful or I never vomit.

Question: would you rather be a portal hopper and need to change your world every week, or live as an immortal being (elves or vampires)?

merlin

@Sachi

I would choose immortal, because in sense you would also eventually live a life as a portal jumper with more connections. You can’t live for eternity in the same place without eventually being discovered. Every ten years or da you would have to restart your life. Become a new person with a new name in a new place.

Leading to my next question

Would you rather be a vampire, forced to live in the shadows and hunt prey at night never to see the light of day or enjoy the pleasures of the living again or as a werewolf, enjoying a mortal life while having to live with a beast of which you have no control of.