Trauma Bond anyone?
-
Ok ok, that makes it sound worse than it actually is....
Ok, yea, my dreamy S.O. kinda did dump me and I kinda didn't take it well.
We all know the ridiculous advice we get post breakup, some of useful, all of it well meaning, none of it wanted at the time lol.
So what are your go-to things you try to do when heartbroken? Because lets face it, if you are doing the breaking, that mess rolls off like water off a duck. I am looking for any and all distractions, advice, or hell, even to read about some of the wacky things you were told.
My favorite is that my half sister's mother believes a good sh*t will fix anything. Tired? Go poop. Migraine? Go poop. Stub your toe? Poop. Car won't start? You guessed it....
LiveTale Ambassador
-
Soooo I have two things I do after dealing with something which breaks me. One is from my time as a paramedic and more of a quick fix. The other is from my time as a now reformed and happily married man whore.
I’ll give you the healthy paramedic answer :
After I saw something horrible, lost a patient or simply made the wrong call when there was no right one to make, I would do the same thing.
I would get breakfast. I would eat and remember that no matter what I just went through, I was still here. I worked graveyard so I would then get myself a drink and watch the sunrise, because there was still tomorrow. And when I woke up from a no doubt troubled sleep, I would get dressed and no matter what, I would keep moving forward. Because once you stop, that is when the doubt, pain and ugliness of it all takes you down.
And our job isn’t done. We are here to create, to save and to bring hope to others who are lost. So remember, you have a job to do. People depend on you and you aren’t done yet.
And on the former man whore note:
Bang as many randoms as possible. Bang their friends. Bang their siblings. Bang their mother and so in a way she talks about you longingly at thanks giving. Then when they call you to patch things up , bang them and tell them you’re sorry but you were just looking for something casual.
The point is to bang. If that was unclear
-
I'm sorry Ezra. I have been dumped twice, and the last one hurt so much that I made sure it never happened again. Since then I always made sure I was the first one out (so sorry exes!).
It sucks putting yourself out there and then getting trampled on. Focus on yourself and your friendships. Lean into them for companionship and indulge. No need to worry about presents for a special someone. That's cash to spend on yourself!
-
@mianngu yea my dumb ass shops way ahead for people so I already have his xmas present lol.
And, he still wants to go with me to the event he bought tickets for for my birthday. So. Awko-taco.
-
@merlin I certainly try to keep moving forward, though I have considered some pretty radical things to try and get over this faster because of course he wants to still be "friends" lol.
LiveTale Ambassador
-
Na fuck that be friends bullshit. Burn that bridge.
-
@Ezra Becoming or being friends with an ex is just something that happens, but it's definitely not that common. I've heard it many times and that person just wanders off into the aethers usually. I've also found it rarely works even with effort applied. Often, when a relationship is done, it's done. Best to move on in slow gradual steps.
-
@Ezra
I was always the dumper, never the dumpee. I've heard "no thanks" plenty of times, and I've been on dates that had no chemistry, but i never was dumped from a long-term relationship. HOWEVER! I did get suckered into a pseudo-science health cult a month ago and two days before my first appointment it was canceled and refunded because the doctor couldn't hold up under the tiniest bit of skepticism from my intake form.I gotta say it didn't feel good, and I didn't have a chance to defend myself. I now know it is quackery because if the doctor believed in his results, he would just laugh and say " In my defense, we get that all the time. but come on in and I'll show you real results". Even knowing this, it still stings even after dodging the bullet of paying for false goods. i haven't exercised or eaten well in 2 weeks because of it, and i learned rejection has a lot of power over me, especially rejection that alters my plans and future goals.
I hope there is a metaphor in there for you somewhere. Maybe if something is worth fighting for it doesn't hurt so much to look at it under the microscope because you know any flaws noticed are worth the risk and assessment and skepticism, but if it's all a facade then it crumbles under the tiniest bit of pressure. So while it hurts now, i hope you'll see the bullet you dodged. And if you are the bullet that was dodged, i hope you have the insight to take the aftermath and turn ashes into diamonds; to be a better bullet in cupid's quiver.
